Many Opportunities For Learning Have Been Missed Because We Insisted On Talking Too Much

     If we're really honest, there are a few things in life more gratifying than when we say something cool, smart, or relvant--something that others get value from and that makes us look good for a fleeting moment. But if the same conversational energy and focus were used to be inquisitive and to learn from those around us, the 'moment of looking good' would pale in comparison to the learning value we would derive from each conversation. Don't get me wrong; talking intelligently is a valuable asset. But talking too much, and listening too little, can have those around us looking for the exit sign, whether our words are intelligent or not. What's worse is we miss so much when we get in the mode of a one-way broadcast and disregard the value of intentional listening and the art of inquiry.
     Admittedly, there are times when I'm talking that I get caught up in trying to convince others (and myself) that I am smart. In fact, during some conversations, I'll usually keep talking until I'm semi-sure what I said is deemed as intelligent. That can take a while, and the victim on the other end of my monologue frankly doesn't deserve to be caught up in my insecure need to be viewed as something special. Then there are times when I focus intently on listening, and altogether it's not as fun as talking. I'm always assured to be more intelligent than I ever am when talking. Another benefit is that the other person will leave the conversation feeling valued and will think I am smart for listening. The truth is, everything I ever wanted to know or needed to know could have been learned by simply listening.

Questions to yourself:

• When and where do I feel the need to do more talking than listening?
• How effective am I at drawing out what is fascinating about people?