If we measured how much of our thought life is caught up in what others think of us, we'd come up with a percentage. There's always a level of effort we put into climbing on the stage of life and performing to gain the approval of others. Sometimes it's a small amount; other times it consumes us and causes unnecessary relational strain. It's human nature to want to be valued. But when others' approval becomes a source of anxiety, insecurity, and self-focus--talking away precious mental energy--it's time to rethink the value of that attention. So rather than refining our performances in life and polishing the plastic, our time would be better spent refining the process of being fully ourselves, whatever that looks like.
Take the risk and just be. Climb off the mental jungle gym of circumstantial acting and exercise the courage to just let you flow through. Although you may hit some 'you' snags, which you will, you'll be refining and polishing truth, not a lie, performance, or facade. You'll feel like you've lost a ton of emotional baggage. Your relationships will be more rewarding, and you'll discover a level of peace you may have thought was gone forever.
I once pictured myself lying in my grave, asking, 'Was all the fear and distraction I experienced being wrapped in others' perception of me worth it, and did it add value to my life? Did all the facades I presented impress anyone or add value to anything?" The answer was no, and I realized hindsight can be 20/20, even if imagined.
Questions to yourself:
- How much time do I spend making an impression vs. making a difference?
- Will I take a week or so to test what it would be like to be completely me?
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