If People Matter To You, You'll Remember Their Names

     Think about how you feel when someone you just met remembers your name.
      I often hear people say, "I'm horrible at names." I reply, "Consider that you're as good as you choose to be, and depending on what is at stake, you are quite good." I go on to ask, "If there were ten million dollars on the line and all you had to do is remember someone's name, would you succeed?" The answer is always, "Yes!" They say, "I'd repeat it write it down, tattoo it on my arm; whatever it took, I would remember their name." The truth is that somewhere between 'it doesn't matter very much' and 'ten million dollars,' our priority, ability, and capacity to remember are revealed. This simply means we're capable of remembering names but consider it so unimportant that we choose not to improve the practice.
     We have great potential to be socially outstanding on a number of fronts but tend to exercise our skill level based on whom we're with at the moment. We tune in or check out depending on what we believe the payoff to be, and therefore develop no consistency or habit or remembering names. The result is that we remain relationally anemic and miss great potential in establishing rapport with others. The value in remembering people's names is one of the highest social rewards that exist. It is the quickest way possible to let someone you just met know that you care about them and translates to instant trust. The results are nothing short of amazing. Remember that!

      Questions to yourself:

• Am I resigned to the lie that I am no good at remembering people's names?
• Will I practice this discipline starting today?

Don't Let Television Take All The Vision From Your Life

     Is watching less TV a 'remote' possibility?
     75 years ago a little black box entered the home. For a few seasons families surrounded it together, but before long families could afford another one, two, or five. Family members split into their own rooms, each with their own black box, and thus, a very insidious division of the family began. Family goals and activities got shelved for the sake of 'The Honeymooners' or some other chewing gum for the brain. Tragic! If ever a device has robbed more life, vision, and potential from people and families, it would be the television (aka take-a-vision). Lost in news, sitcoms, and reality shows are hobbies, goals, and relational growth. Things or people we've wanted to invest in just have to wait because 'The Voice' is on in ten. Two hours and a thousand calories later, our life-vision is a bit more blurred while TV puts us further into a fog. With all the options to watch and the ability to buy a TV for the price of a pair of sneakers, it's a pandemic issue, and TV is doing everything it can to keep you glued to the box. Its finances depend on it, and 'Big Television', by nature of its increasingly carnal content, has no interest in your family or your goals in life Its interest is in ratings, pure and simple. Are they evil? Of course not. They can't take away our choice. But do consider or that by the time a person hits age 65, they'll have spent about 80years watching TV...or one-eighth of their life.
     Do the math; New careers have been learned in a year, billion-dollar businesses built in three years, books are written in six months, relationships reinvigorated in one month, and the list goes on. TV is an addiction that will steal your potential. It will sideline you from the richness of life, love, relationships, and passions as surely as the remote has become the sixth appendage.
     Questions to yourself:

• Which of my passions and goals are sidelined because TV is center stage?
• Are there TV programs that can actually enrich my life and my goals?

When You Begin To Think Less About What People Think of You, That's When You'll Be Able To Really Think!

      Does your worry over what others think of you hind your ability to think clearly and peacefully?
     If we measured how much of our thought life is caught up in what others think of us, we'd come up with a percentage. There's always a level of effort we put into climbing on the stage of life and performing to gain the approval of others. Sometimes it's a small amount; other times it consumes us and causes unnecessary relational strain. It's human nature to want to be valued. But when others' approval becomes a source of anxiety, insecurity, and self-focus--talking away precious mental energy--it's time to rethink the value of that attention. So rather than refining our performances in life and polishing the plastic, our time would be better spent refining the process of being fully ourselves, whatever that looks like.
     Take the risk and just be. Climb off the mental jungle gym of circumstantial acting and exercise the courage to just let you flow through. Although you may hit some 'you' snags, which you will, you'll be refining and polishing truth, not a lie, performance, or facade. You'll feel like you've lost a ton of emotional baggage. Your relationships will be more rewarding, and you'll discover a level of peace you may have thought was gone forever.
     I once pictured myself lying in my grave, asking, 'Was all the fear and distraction I experienced being wrapped in others' perception of me worth it, and did it add value to my life? Did all the facades I presented impress anyone or add value to anything?" The answer was no, and I realized hindsight can be 20/20, even if imagined.

Questions to yourself:

• How much time do I spend making an impression vs. making a difference?
• Will I take a week or so to test what it would be like to be completely me?

Many Opportunities For Learning Have Been Missed Because We Insisted On Talking Too Much

     If we're really honest, there are a few things in life more gratifying than when we say something cool, smart, or relvant--something that others get value from and that makes us look good for a fleeting moment. But if the same conversational energy and focus were used to be inquisitive and to learn from those around us, the 'moment of looking good' would pale in comparison to the learning value we would derive from each conversation. Don't get me wrong; talking intelligently is a valuable asset. But talking too much, and listening too little, can have those around us looking for the exit sign, whether our words are intelligent or not. What's worse is we miss so much when we get in the mode of a one-way broadcast and disregard the value of intentional listening and the art of inquiry.
     Admittedly, there are times when I'm talking that I get caught up in trying to convince others (and myself) that I am smart. In fact, during some conversations, I'll usually keep talking until I'm semi-sure what I said is deemed as intelligent. That can take a while, and the victim on the other end of my monologue frankly doesn't deserve to be caught up in my insecure need to be viewed as something special. Then there are times when I focus intently on listening, and altogether it's not as fun as talking. I'm always assured to be more intelligent than I ever am when talking. Another benefit is that the other person will leave the conversation feeling valued and will think I am smart for listening. The truth is, everything I ever wanted to know or needed to know could have been learned by simply listening.

Questions to yourself:

• When and where do I feel the need to do more talking than listening?
• How effective am I at drawing out what is fascinating about people?

ASAP Isn't A Commitment-----It's Confusion

     Ever made a request for something to be done only to hear, "I'll get it done ASAP', or "I'll get back to ASAP'? Typically we leave these conversations with nothing but uncertainty and confusion about what is real and when things will happen. Truth be told. ASAP is a phrase that doesn't come from anyone who is serious about getting things done. It is a strategy for postponement of work, poor performance, or breaking commitments, and is a chief cause of breakdowns in teams who count on each other to get things completed in a timely manner. ASAP is the vernacular for the semi-committed. It's for those who seem more comfortable living with unspecified promises than they are about giving the gift of clear communication. The phrase ASAP has no specifics or timelines attached to it and shows a lack of concern for others' commitments and responsibilities. It's a form of ambiguity that, in the end, will require more work than being clear in the first place....much more work...and anxiety...and relational conflicts. How much more effective could we be if every commitment and conversation were specific?
     People appreciate it when tell them what's real. They are able to stay accountable, share details of the commitment with others, and track progress along with the way.  Case in point: If you were in need of a critical medicine for deadly infection, would you rather hear, "I'll get it to you ASAP', or "You'll have it today by 2:00 P.M'? The remedy for life productivity and stress reduction rests largely on what we can count on, and counting on ASAP just isn't possible.
      Questions to yourself:

• In what areas of life do I avoid responsibility by being vague?
• What price do I and others pay for my unclear or incomplete commitments? 

People Have Many Brands They Can Choose From. You Are One Of Them!

     If you were a brand, would you buy yourself or keep shopping?
     You may not give it much thought, but you are a 'brand' to everyone who knows you. Your personal brand is always speaking, and like all brands, it is subject to constant scrutiny and potential breakdown. Comprising your integrity, way of being, and, of course, your track record in day-to-day life, the way your personal brand resonates with others will profoundly impact your relationships, career opportunities, and life momentum. At the same time, your brand can stop you in your tracks if you're not clear about what you stand for and how you will make yourself relevant, and beneficial to those around you. Keeping commitments, showing up on time, excellence in work ethic, response times, how you handle the details, and the overall value you create for others are a few of the many ways your brand is measured. And in today's world of constant evaluation, keeping your personal brand intact is vital to sustaining your influence, position, and ability to move into new situations with a positive presence and credibility. With as little as a single experience or a quick search online, your brand is, or will soon be, in full view for the world to see. Will viewers be attracted or repelled? Will they buy in or move on? It all depends on the 'brand of you' they experience, online or off. Maintaining your personal brand standards and reputation does require work, but the alternative is sometimes a tainted personal brand that is beyond repair. An occasional close look in the mirror, plus honest feedback from others, will help you uncover ways to make your brand more compelling for all concerned.
      Questions to your Brand:

• How is my brand affecting others personally, professionally, and socially?
• Are there traits or behaviors I need to build into or remove from my personal brand to have better results in life?

Strawberry Short Cake

• 2 cups flour
• 4 tsps. baking powder
• 1 tbsp sugar
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 4-6 tbsps. shortening
• 1 egg
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 quart berries
• 1 cup whipping cream

1. Sift together dry ingredients, and cut in shortening as for pie crust. 
2. Beat egg and milk until blended and stir in. pat out dough into a square on floured board to the thickness 1-4 inch. Brush half the top with melted butter.
3. Fold over other half or cut dough into rounds for individual servings if preferred.
4. Bake cake on a greased sheet in a moderately hot 425-degree oven for about 10-20 minutes. Split cake.
5. Serve with sweetened strawberries between layers and over top. Garnish with whipped cream.

Banana Cake

• 1/2 cup butter
  
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 2 1/4 sifted cake flour
• 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 3/4 tsp. soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 cup mashed or riced bananas
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 1/4 cup sour milk

1. Cream butter and sugar. Beat in eggs one at a time. Resift flour with baking powder, soda, and salt.
2. Add vanilla to milk. Stir sifted ingredients into butter mixture alternately with milk and bananas. Beat batter until smooth after each addition.
3. Bake the cake in two greased 9-inch cake pans in moderate 350-degree oven 15 to 30 minutes. 
4. Place sliced bananas between layers. Ice top of the cake with uncooked lemon icing. 

Reflection Ghost

      This ghost story starts with my sister one night who thought she saw someone standing by the washing machine which was just right by her bedroom door. She gave the figure no reaction and turned over and went back to sleep.
     Something, later on, I can't remember when, but I woke up in the middle of the night and saw a man, very clearly through the reflection of my TV standing at the headboard of my bed. He had dark hair, no facial hair, wore no glasses, thin, and had on a like a stripped suit.
     Oh, man, I was literally out of the bed in like a couple seconds. It really started me. My bird went to squawking as I threw on the lights which woke my sister up. She was a little startled at the racket. I told her I saw a man standing by my bed through the reflection of my TV. And that's when she told me of the above. I figure it was possibly the same figure. My sister gave ignored him, while I didn't. I went by to my room, turned off the light and he was gone. I went back to sleep.
      And this is where he turns into a like creepy stalker ghost. I can't remember if it was the next time or later, but I awoke again in the middle of the night and there he was again. I just turned on the TV and turned down the volume and went back to sleep. Every night, he was there, and every night, I turned the TV on and the volume down so I couldn't see him. One night I turned it off in the middle of the night just see if he was still there. Still freaking there, this time leaning over the bed. I got up that time and turned on the light. Not really sure how that would have helped, but... then I turned off the lights and looked at the TV and he was gone. I turned on the TV again and went back to sleep.
       This went on every night until I moved from there.

Halle Bailey as Ariel

     So folks are in an uproar about a young singer and actress; Halle Bailey who got the role of Ariel in the upcoming live action. I wanna remind y'all that Zendaya was rumored to play Ariel in the live action, but no one had a problem with her, so why is it a problem with Halle?
      Ariel originally is by Hans Christan Anderson, a Danish fairy tale from 1837. In that fairy tale, Ariel is described as a being "the prettiest of her sisters. Her skin was clear and delicate as a rose-leaf, and her eyes as blue as the deepest sea." That means her skin was transparent like the diphylleia grayi flower.

     Walt Disney created Ariel that we know in 1989. And that's how most see that Ariel should be.
      Came across this image on Instagram and it does make a point.
   

The Silence Review (Spoilers)

     The Silence is 2019 horror film released on Netflix. The movie stars Kiernan Shipka; Sabrina Spellman as most of y'all might know her from. I would describe the movie as 'The Birds' meets "A Quiet Place'.
     A cave research team unearths prehistoric creatures called Pterosaurs called 'vesps'. They attach the research team and head out into the open sky.
     Ally is walking near school looking at her tablet. She is deaf and her classmates are behind her making fun of her. Her dad and best friend are apparently construction workers from what I can tell from the movie. Her brother may be a soccer player based on the soccer balls rolling out of the car. The grandmother has terminal cancer.
     The mom wakes Ally up in the middle of the night to watch the news of what's going on. They are to stay indoors and silent, but that ain't what the family does. Ally suggests they head to the countryside.
     A woman with an infant kid gets kicked off an underground subway.
     They stop at a gas station to fuel and let the dog pee. A man tries to highjack Hugh's car, but Glen shoots him.
     The gang hits a traffic jam. No surprise there.
     Some bucks run out in front of Glenn on an old dirt forested road. Yeah, um, should have known to be careful. Jeep rolls down an embankment. Hugh tries but just can't free Glenn.
     The dog goes to barking. Not a good time to own a barky dog. Glenn fires his gun to attract the vesps to him. I thought Hugh was gonna strangle the dog but lets him out instead. He just a well should have strangled him. He's as good as dead anyway. A barky dog like him won't last too long.
      Hugh gets out after a period of time has passed and probably a bad time for grandma to go into coughing fits. Hugh throws a tire iron and finds out they can't see, only hear.
     Hugh sets Glenn car on fire and the family heads out on foot to find shelter. The family comes across a house in the woods with a very high fence who is unaware of the vesps. They enter the house through a storm drain which is occupied with a rattlesnake which must have slithered in after Hugh went through and into the house.
      Ally contacts her friend and tells her his parents are dead.
      By morning grandma's leg has gotten worse from the vesp bite from the storm drain. Hugh and Ally leave to find antibiotics.
      Hugh tries to get the TV to work, but Ally comes in the living room from her tablet to tell him vesps can't survive the cold.
     A reverend and some of his followers are standing outside the house just smiling. I'd be creeped just by that.
     A little girl appears on the porch in the middle of the night. That ain't weird at all. The girl was a trap set by the reverend and his followers who strapped phones to the girl and the house. They go off attracting the vesps and that's when the followers abduct Ally. Grandma runs outside to save her granddaughter. The vesps attack grandma and followers, but the perverted reverend still gets Ally, but he don't get very far.
     The family trecks north to a refugee camp. Ally and Rob are hunting vesps with bows and arrows.