When You Begin To Think Less About What People Think of You, That's When You'll Be Able To Really Think!

      Does your worry over what others think of you hind your ability to think clearly and peacefully?
     If we measured how much of our thought life is caught up in what others think of us, we'd come up with a percentage. There's always a level of effort we put into climbing on the stage of life and performing to gain the approval of others. Sometimes it's a small amount; other times it consumes us and causes unnecessary relational strain. It's human nature to want to be valued. But when others' approval becomes a source of anxiety, insecurity, and self-focus--talking away precious mental energy--it's time to rethink the value of that attention. So rather than refining our performances in life and polishing the plastic, our time would be better spent refining the process of being fully ourselves, whatever that looks like.
     Take the risk and just be. Climb off the mental jungle gym of circumstantial acting and exercise the courage to just let you flow through. Although you may hit some 'you' snags, which you will, you'll be refining and polishing truth, not a lie, performance, or facade. You'll feel like you've lost a ton of emotional baggage. Your relationships will be more rewarding, and you'll discover a level of peace you may have thought was gone forever.
     I once pictured myself lying in my grave, asking, 'Was all the fear and distraction I experienced being wrapped in others' perception of me worth it, and did it add value to my life? Did all the facades I presented impress anyone or add value to anything?" The answer was no, and I realized hindsight can be 20/20, even if imagined.

Questions to yourself:

• How much time do I spend making an impression vs. making a difference?
• Will I take a week or so to test what it would be like to be completely me?

Many Opportunities For Learning Have Been Missed Because We Insisted On Talking Too Much

     If we're really honest, there are a few things in life more gratifying than when we say something cool, smart, or relvant--something that others get value from and that makes us look good for a fleeting moment. But if the same conversational energy and focus were used to be inquisitive and to learn from those around us, the 'moment of looking good' would pale in comparison to the learning value we would derive from each conversation. Don't get me wrong; talking intelligently is a valuable asset. But talking too much, and listening too little, can have those around us looking for the exit sign, whether our words are intelligent or not. What's worse is we miss so much when we get in the mode of a one-way broadcast and disregard the value of intentional listening and the art of inquiry.
     Admittedly, there are times when I'm talking that I get caught up in trying to convince others (and myself) that I am smart. In fact, during some conversations, I'll usually keep talking until I'm semi-sure what I said is deemed as intelligent. That can take a while, and the victim on the other end of my monologue frankly doesn't deserve to be caught up in my insecure need to be viewed as something special. Then there are times when I focus intently on listening, and altogether it's not as fun as talking. I'm always assured to be more intelligent than I ever am when talking. Another benefit is that the other person will leave the conversation feeling valued and will think I am smart for listening. The truth is, everything I ever wanted to know or needed to know could have been learned by simply listening.

Questions to yourself:

• When and where do I feel the need to do more talking than listening?
• How effective am I at drawing out what is fascinating about people?

ASAP Isn't A Commitment-----It's Confusion

     Ever made a request for something to be done only to hear, "I'll get it done ASAP', or "I'll get back to ASAP'? Typically we leave these conversations with nothing but uncertainty and confusion about what is real and when things will happen. Truth be told. ASAP is a phrase that doesn't come from anyone who is serious about getting things done. It is a strategy for postponement of work, poor performance, or breaking commitments, and is a chief cause of breakdowns in teams who count on each other to get things completed in a timely manner. ASAP is the vernacular for the semi-committed. It's for those who seem more comfortable living with unspecified promises than they are about giving the gift of clear communication. The phrase ASAP has no specifics or timelines attached to it and shows a lack of concern for others' commitments and responsibilities. It's a form of ambiguity that, in the end, will require more work than being clear in the first place....much more work...and anxiety...and relational conflicts. How much more effective could we be if every commitment and conversation were specific?
     People appreciate it when tell them what's real. They are able to stay accountable, share details of the commitment with others, and track progress along with the way.  Case in point: If you were in need of a critical medicine for deadly infection, would you rather hear, "I'll get it to you ASAP', or "You'll have it today by 2:00 P.M'? The remedy for life productivity and stress reduction rests largely on what we can count on, and counting on ASAP just isn't possible.
      Questions to yourself:

• In what areas of life do I avoid responsibility by being vague?
• What price do I and others pay for my unclear or incomplete commitments? 

People Have Many Brands They Can Choose From. You Are One Of Them!

     If you were a brand, would you buy yourself or keep shopping?
     You may not give it much thought, but you are a 'brand' to everyone who knows you. Your personal brand is always speaking, and like all brands, it is subject to constant scrutiny and potential breakdown. Comprising your integrity, way of being, and, of course, your track record in day-to-day life, the way your personal brand resonates with others will profoundly impact your relationships, career opportunities, and life momentum. At the same time, your brand can stop you in your tracks if you're not clear about what you stand for and how you will make yourself relevant, and beneficial to those around you. Keeping commitments, showing up on time, excellence in work ethic, response times, how you handle the details, and the overall value you create for others are a few of the many ways your brand is measured. And in today's world of constant evaluation, keeping your personal brand intact is vital to sustaining your influence, position, and ability to move into new situations with a positive presence and credibility. With as little as a single experience or a quick search online, your brand is, or will soon be, in full view for the world to see. Will viewers be attracted or repelled? Will they buy in or move on? It all depends on the 'brand of you' they experience, online or off. Maintaining your personal brand standards and reputation does require work, but the alternative is sometimes a tainted personal brand that is beyond repair. An occasional close look in the mirror, plus honest feedback from others, will help you uncover ways to make your brand more compelling for all concerned.
      Questions to your Brand:

• How is my brand affecting others personally, professionally, and socially?
• Are there traits or behaviors I need to build into or remove from my personal brand to have better results in life?

Strawberry Short Cake

• 2 cups flour
• 4 tsps. baking powder
• 1 tbsp sugar
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 4-6 tbsps. shortening
• 1 egg
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 quart berries
• 1 cup whipping cream

1. Sift together dry ingredients, and cut in shortening as for pie crust. 
2. Beat egg and milk until blended and stir in. pat out dough into a square on floured board to the thickness 1-4 inch. Brush half the top with melted butter.
3. Fold over other half or cut dough into rounds for individual servings if preferred.
4. Bake cake on a greased sheet in a moderately hot 425-degree oven for about 10-20 minutes. Split cake.
5. Serve with sweetened strawberries between layers and over top. Garnish with whipped cream.

Banana Cake

• 1/2 cup butter
  
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 2 1/4 sifted cake flour
• 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 3/4 tsp. soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 cup mashed or riced bananas
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 1/4 cup sour milk

1. Cream butter and sugar. Beat in eggs one at a time. Resift flour with baking powder, soda, and salt.
2. Add vanilla to milk. Stir sifted ingredients into butter mixture alternately with milk and bananas. Beat batter until smooth after each addition.
3. Bake the cake in two greased 9-inch cake pans in moderate 350-degree oven 15 to 30 minutes. 
4. Place sliced bananas between layers. Ice top of the cake with uncooked lemon icing.